Showers for Baby Uber

How could a seemingly intelligent infertile women allow herself to get roped into hosting a baby shower? Well my uberfertile soon-to-be-40 best friend got pregnant a week or two after her wedding. Great for her! Meanwhile David and I are nearing the 2 year mark trying to conceive without even a positive HPT (home pregnancy test, to the uninitiated) to our credit. So when uberfertile's colleague volunteered to host a baby shower for her, I thought, excellent, one less thing for me to worry about. But right after the initial planning stage of shower # 1 (all female b/c he didn't want co-ed) had ended, spouse of uberfertile decides that he now wants a couples' shower. So what do they do? Uber asks me -- the best friend, matron of honor, overall sap to host shower #2. (BTW -- may I ask, how many showers does one imminently arriving baby need?) Now I, like many infertiles, would almost rather be subjected to Chinese water torture before even attending a baby shower, much less hosting one at my home. But as a dear friend, I felt I simply couldn't say no. Yeah, I'm a sucker.

So now I have spent the last several weeks trying to subtly extricate myself (and David) from this predicament. David has offered to call spouse of uberfertile for a man to man chat. I declined this offer, assuming I could handle it myself. How wrong I was. We have now received 3 draft guest lists for invitations, the last contained over 55 names. No, we are not Mr. and Mrs. J. R. Ewing and we do not live at South Fork. We simply cannot accommodate such a large number of people. Not to mention the fact that uberfertile is well aware that we have been trying now for ages, without success, and receiving (sometimes, see cyst post) infertility treatment. And anyway, who asks someone to host a party for them???? Better yet, who asks their infertile friend to host a second baby shower?!?!? Ann Landers would be appalled.

Well I have proposed a few alternate sites, only to have spouse of uberfertile shot them down. Get a clue! But today, it seems that my reticence plus David's man to man chat with Mr. Uber have finally brought our message home. I believe that in a few short hours I will be free of this unpleasant and unwanted task. (They have asked a few other suckers, opps - I mean friends, if they will host babyfest #2).

And I have learned a very valuable lesson -- I should have said "no' when given that option. For that I have only myself to blame. I will now always remember -- it's easier to say 'no' than to un-say 'yes.'