Thursday, September 22, 2005

About Face

The last time I mentioned my dear mother, she had cleaned, cooked, washed and ironed just about everything in our house. She then flew off into the sunset to her distant home. What I alluded to, but did not discuss in detail, was that she had also made some statements that I believed were intended to discourage us from seeking treatment for infertility. Allow me to explain - my mom is a very active, 60-something year old woman, she takes great care of her health, exercises daily, eats well, sees an herbalist, etc. Don't get me wrong, she is not opposed to Western medicine, she's had surgery and has taken medication. She just seems to believe that drugs may be a bit overused and that diet and exercise can make a world of difference.

So in a recent discussion with her infertile daugher, she said that we should not "go" crazy. And that everything would "work out." Afterall, she'd talked with her gyn and who informed her that "every other woman suffers from endometriosis" and that doing something extreme might "mess me up." Of course, my mom was telling me in her own way that she disapproved of taking conventional medical action to cure infertility. I was really disappointed by our discussion and felt that she just didn't GET it. We've been trying for over two years and given my age and health problems, including stage 4 endo and one remaining blocked tube -- we. have. no. choice. Anyhow, I decided for my own sake that I would not discuss any fertility issues with her any further. I just didn't want to deal with the disappointment.

Well, fastforward to today. Dear mom called me up this morning and after talking about family, friends, some lower back and leg pain that she is experiencing and, coincidently, some lower back and leg pain that I am experiencing, she turned the discussion to a cousin of mine who is suffering from SIF and was recently diagnosed with severe endometriosis. This turned into a tubal discussion, at which point I suggested that my cousin will unlikely get pregnant, if the endo has caused tubal blockage. Well, Mom proceeded to say that without tubes, a person would have to do IVF. You could have knocked me over with a feather! Was my mother actually talking about IVF?!?!?!?! Has she now realized that her only hope of having a bio grandchild or two rests in the womb of an endo-riddled, tubeless (for all intents and purposes), infertile, 35 year old woman!?!?!?!?! I think so.

We then discussed IVF. I mean not in great detail, but I finally shared with her Dr. NHB's recommendation that we pursue IVF. I also told her that we had met with Dr. L, who advised us that he would only transfer two embryos, assuming we get that far. (I think the prospect of high order multiples frightened her). I assured her that reputable fertility clinics do no want women to have high order pregnancies and that although twins are common at our clinic, triplets are rare. She talked about a girlfriend of hers, whose daughter successfully did IVF and had twins a few years ago. She was upbeat and positive about everything. She believes that everything will work out and we will have our sweet babies in due time. I, however, am less confident but it's nice to know that someone is maintaining a positive outlook on our behalf.

At least, I feel better about it. I feel like one of my biggest fans in the whole world is on the same page as me. And that brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my lips.


I am really concerned about my in-laws residing in Houston. My MIL is a nurse and has been asked to remain in the city to provide medical assistance, as it may become necessary. Although my in-laws are not in a low lying area of the city and have not been subject to a mandatory evacuation order, my in-laws and a few other relatives will be riding out the storm in a hospital in Houston. I pray that they remain safe.


At 3:25 PM, Blogger Dramalish said...

Your relatives have my prayers as well.
I hope that Rita is a bust and everyone in the Western Gulf sails through this crisis.
My thoughts are with you and them.

At 4:04 PM, Blogger K said...

I'm so glad things worked out with your mom. It's hard when you can't tell your parents everything because you don't want to listen to the judgements.

My thoughts are with your relatives, I hope everyone's okay!

At 5:13 PM, Blogger Larisa said...

I hope your family remains safe. I will be thinking of them.

I am so thrilled for you that your mom is supportive of your decision.

At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope your family stays safe. I'm glad things worked out with your mom.

At 7:06 PM, Blogger k #2 said...

Oh, I am so thankful that your mother has figured things out. I think that we forget that IF takes time for all of us to understand, and for our parents, who didn't have so many treatments options (although, it appears they didn't need it :) ), it may be hard for them to truly get it. My mom tends to be overly optmistic sometimes about how it will work.

Hope your family handles this hurricane with as much bravery as you have handled IF.

At 7:24 PM, Blogger K|nneret said...

I am so glad for you, Cheech ... seriously. It means a lot when family comes on board.
When is your first cycle?

And I wish your family the very best with the coming storm. You are ALL in my thoughts.

At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Lori said...

My thoughts are with your IL's. I hope they will make it through the storm safely.
That's fantastic that your Mom has done an about face. It makes such a difference when your family gets it and is supportive. Good to hear.
Keep us posted on the IL's though.

At 11:06 PM, Blogger Ova Girl said...

That's great that your mother has come round and is now able to actually support you. I think a lot of people automatically say no to ivf when they have no real idea about it or why people need to use it.

And my thoughts are with your relatives. That's pretty scary.

At 11:28 AM, Blogger Chee Chee said...

Kinneret -- My next cycle should begin by the end of next week. I'll start BCPs (for 3 weeks) at that time.

At 11:54 AM, Blogger Thalia said...

yay for your mum. Mine is not nearly so enlightened! I hope your PIL are ok.

At 5:21 PM, Blogger April said...

My thoughts and prayers are with your inlaws.

The wonder of small victories like that makes it all seem possible.

Keeping everything crossed for you.


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