Saturday, October 08, 2005

Down in the Dumps

I had my HSG yesterday. It showed that the dye was loculated (meaning that it collected into a puddle in one area of my fallopian tube). I dropped the films off with the receptionist at the Fertility Center. I will just have to wait until Monday to hear Dr. L's opinion about this new tubal issue.

I also feel like crap - physically. I'm feeling crampy and PMSy everyday. I keep hoping that I'll feel better. For the past week or so, I wake up in the mornings feeling ok but by afternoon my lower back hurts, I'm having weird spotting (yep, prior to the HSG). I don't think I've been 100% since the lap. I'm just dragging around like a 90 year old woman (in poor health). I am taking Aleve everyday. I don't know if I am physically able to proceed with IVF, even if Dr. L gives us the green light.

Sorry for being such a downer. If you were looking for sunshine and rainbows, you've come to the wrong blog.

23 Comments:

At 3:30 PM, Blogger k #2 said...

chee chee,
Outside my window it is a stormy, overcast day. It seems to match our own gloomy days. I certainly hope that the sun begins to shine for you so you can see the rainbow that you deserve.

Sorry for your frustration.

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger K|nneret said...

I'm so sorry, Cheech. Sorry that you're feeling crappy, sorry that you're going through so much difficult stuff just to have a baby.
*hugs* - please know that my thoughts are with you. Try and be strong.

 
At 6:57 PM, Blogger Larisa said...

I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I really hope you start to feel better soon, and you are able to proceed with the IVF when you do.

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger Mony said...

It's such a rollercoaster. Ups and down, down, downs. You sound so discouraged & I do not blame you. Shit, this certainly wasn't in the game plan. Why do the hurdles feel so never-ending? So unfair. Keep jumping honey, you have to. The finish line must surely be nigh. xxx

 
At 12:41 AM, Blogger Donna said...

Sunshine and rainbows exist on somebody's blog somewhere?? Don't worry, I don't think anybody is expecting you to be Pollyanna right now. Hope you feel better and I'll be checking in to see what Dr. L's opinion is. P.S. Thanks for teaching me a new word, now if I can just figure out how to use "loculated" in regular conversation.

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger Ova Girl said...

I'm sorry Chee Chee, things sound really hard right now. Don't worry about not being sunshiney on your blog at the moment. There are very few moments of sunshine in this whole IF battle. It's mostly clouds. We just keep trying to dodge the raindrops. Just know that we care and support you.

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger Spanglish said...

Sunshine and rainbows are rare anymore for any of us. Hang in there. I hope things turn around for you soon.

 
At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Lori said...

I'm so sorry to hear you aren't feeling well physically or emotionally. I do hope you can find something that will soothe your soul, it sounds like you could use it.

 
At 12:37 PM, Anonymous thalia said...

Oh chee chee I'm so sorry all this shit is being thrown at you. It must be so hard to keep going when everything seems to go wrong! I have no idea what that hsg result means, but hope that Dr L will havce something sensible to say about it.

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger Nico said...

I am so sorry that once again your body is not cooperating with your plans. I don't know if it's possible, but I'm hoping that you'll be able to go ahead with the IVF, and won't need more surgery. Everything crossed.

 
At 11:10 PM, Blogger InDueTime said...

I am sorry about your HSG. I wish I had the words to make your dumpy days go away. :-( *Hugs*

 
At 7:27 PM, Blogger ak1908 said...

Chee Chee,
I am so sorry about how you are feeling. I will continue to hope and pray that you feel better and have the physical and emotional will power to move on with IVF. I'm sending you tons of ((((hugs))))) and tons of wishes for feeling better. It's totally ok to not be sunshiney. There's certainly nothing sunny about IF and the way it makes us feel.

 
At 6:23 AM, Blogger betty said...

We are more than fair weather friends. You are quite entitled to express your glumness. I hope it passes soon.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Allie said...

Honey, there are no sunshines and rainbows during this difficult time before your IVF. It's OK to feel however you want. We'll read no matter what.

When I had my HSG and saw that both tubes were terribly mangled, I was almost relieved. Relieved that I actually had a diagnosis and a reason for all my ectopics and all my troubles. I know it's not what you wanted to see, but at least you know that you are on the right track with the IVF. That it IS the right treatment for you. And I have every faith that you will be able to proceed with a cycle soon. Our minds are stronger than our bodies. As you go through your IVF cycle, you will come to learn that you are stronger and more capable that you ever thought.

I'm sorry you're down in the dumps. xxoo - hugs across the internet. Wishing you eventual sunshine and rainbows.

 
At 10:41 AM, Anonymous Jill said...

Hi, Chee Chee. I'm sorry that you're in physical and emotional pain...so sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers for brighter days ahead.

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

What...no sunshine and rainbows here?? I want my entrance fee back!

No worries. The worst thing about IF is never knowing when you are going to get slapped in the face again. The good news is that you don't need tubes for IVF! Yay for no tubes! It is not often you can say that, right?

 
At 6:09 PM, Anonymous thalia said...

Hope you're doing ok - or better than last saturday, at any rate.

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger April said...

Chee Chee,

Just wanted to stick my head in, and tell you that I wouldn't adore you as much if you were sunshine and rainbows.

I still wish though that I could send some pesky little rainbows your way. I'm so sorry you're going through so much honey... so sorry.

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger zhl said...

Sorry about your HSG and the overall crappiness. Don't worry; if I found sunshine here, I'd think I was lost.

Hope you're doing okay.

 
At 3:20 AM, Blogger Drew said...

I feel like shit the last week or so too - so I am with you in spirit. :) Try and cheer up dude.

 
At 7:37 AM, Blogger betty said...

You don't need to apologise for your moods. We are more than fair weather friends.I really hope the gloom clears for you soon.

 
At 10:50 AM, Anonymous thalia said...

Thanks for dropping by on my blog. Just wanted to check in and see how you are. Hope you're doing ok.

 
At 4:46 AM, Blogger Ova Girl said...

chee chee, I'm back to check in and see how you're doing. Thinking of you. Hope you're doing ok.

 

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