Inching out of the closet

I am awful about keeping this blog updated, especially when nothing is going on on the fertility front. So by way of update, I am currently taking BCPs and will continue taking them until the end of the month. I return to Ginormous for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork on the first of June. At that time, we will, hopefully, be given the go ahead to begin stimming on June 4th for IVF cycle #2. Fingers crossed . . .

On a separate but related note, the topic of infertility hit me where I work today. I work in a small U.S. office of a multi-national company. There are seven people in my office and about 70 or so shattered throughout the U.S. Our current U.S. support/administrative/legal staff consists of 3 people; so our little team wears many different hats. I, for example, manage legal matters, along with some HR and immigration tasks. Our finance manager, Bill, handles payroll, benefits, orientation, etc. You get the idea. So I was sitting in my office earlier today and I overheared Bill (great guy with a 5 year old son and a second child due in September), who sits two doors down, telling an employee, who has called with a few questions, that our company does not cover fertility treatment. Um, buddy, that would be the wrong answer.

So I sat at my desk for a few minutes knowing that I must correct Bill but not wanting to expose myself as the infertile that I am. I honestly felt a strong obligation to provide this employee with the correct information, particularly on this very difficult issue with which I am intimately familiar; but on the other hand, I felt the need to preserve my privacy. You see, I am not one of those people, who grapples with the decision whether to share my infertility treatments with a few select colleagues (not that it isn't appropriate in most cases, given the appointments, days off required, etc.) It’s just not something I am willing to share. Some family and friends know what we are going through and I rely very heavily on David and one really good friend (and of course, you all) to keep me going when the rollercoaster gets me down but otherwise, I have no desire to share. What to do . . .

Like any good infertile (and busybody), I wandered to Bill’s office and pried into his conversation. This wasn't unusual since Bill and I spend, at least, a few minutes a day complaining about some negative experience we’ve had here at the office. He confirmed that a male employee has called asking about fertility coverage and he has told said employee that our company's health insurance plan doesn’t cover these treatments. He said, after a child has been conceived prenatal is, of course, covered but not extraordinary intervention for infertility. Hmmpph! Bill has dropped a few notches in my eyes for having the audacity to assume that prenatal care would be covered but not infertility! I get that he has not had the misfortune of experiencing infertility, so he has no way of knowing firsthand but he could have, at least, called our benefits' provider to confirm! I promptly corrected Bill, telling him that not only is infertility covered but coverage is mandatory here in our State and no, it doesn’t matter that the employee doesn’t work in this State, since the company’s U.S. offices are based here, coverage is mandatory for all employees nationwide. My heart sped up, as I spoke, but Bill now stands corrected.

He then went on to tell me that the guy (and his wife) aren’t being treated for infertility but have been trying, unsuccessfully, for sometime and that she will be getting “some test to see if there is a blockage somewhere.” The employee also wanted to know if this test was covered. Bill advised him that he didn’t know but that the doctor’s office should submit the appropriate paperwork to the insurance company and the insurance company would either pay or reject the claim. I knew the answer to this one too; of course diagnostic testing like the HSG is covered, but I didn't feel comfortable displaying too much knowledge of this particular topic and I felt fairly comfortable with the answer he has given the employee, so I feigned ignorance and we joked about his inability to know whether every single possible malady is covered by our health insurance.

I feel like I could have done or said a lot more. I could have contacted the employee directly (I guess I still can). I could have informed Bill that diagnostics are covered or advised him that if he isn't sure of an answer, he should suggest that employees contact our benefits' provider themselves, that company has been very helpful. Instead, I took the coward's way out, anonymity intact, for now . . .